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Domestic psychological problems and their ensuring and proven remedies

Ubqari Magazine - September 2016

The letters of distorted families and their comprehensive answers

 Must send the envelope to reply with complete address written on it and do not make hast to have reply of latter.

 
 I am little in height only:
My brothers are tall but only mine height is not that well. After going to any ceremony I want to stay hidden from the eyes of people. I ask my friend about the exercises to increase the height I feel jealous of people. (Aslam, Lahore)
 Suggestion: If someone does not get education and does not make himself able to live a good life then there is no fruit in just being good in looks. Struggle and the financial problems blur the personality but the good personality due to the financial ease through education and the professional skill attracts the people and nobody stays un-attracted from that.  The biggest benefit will be to you. Do not stay away from the eyes of people but have strength to talk to them with eyes to eyes.  Little height will not give the negative effect. 
 
I wish she become a good girl:
 My cousin is 22 years old. She did not get education, did not learn the domestic works and did not pay attention at her personality. She shows a lot of anger she is manner less, she does not agrees with anybody she is stubborn. There must be any solution that she becomes a good girl, a girl who must possess humanity. What should be advised to her?  (Sh ,Karachi)
Suggestion: It’s surely worrisome that a girl until the age of 22 does not gets education and learns any work and her attitude is bad with others. Actually the bad behavior and stubborn attitude is considered the part a man’s nature, so to make these kinds of people good they take the help of harshness and advises. When everything proves fruitless then it is not wrong to accept that this person has any mental problem. A normal person has his interest in one or the other thing.  He learns the social laws, manners, responsibility and how to respect with the passage of time. The letter is indicating that to make your cousin a good girl you need to know that how much she is mentally affected.
 
He does not agree:
The atmosphere of our home is very hurting due to the elder brother. It is the mistake of our sister-in-law, who left him. After this his anger has increased. He does not sleep at night and keeps walking. Sometimes listen to the news in loud volume. He starts quarrelling when someone comes to our home. He wants that everyone should accept his point of view and must listen to him. One must neither advice him nor to his wife. We say to leave her and have second marriage he is not accepting it. (Nadia, Jahng)
Suggestion:  
If a person is not good to family, does not give importance to the parents, does not care for his wife, does not care for the brothers and sisters, and except this he do not care about his own self, his hunger and sleep is finished and his anger increases, if he forces his point of view in every matter, if we say him a mentally not well then we will not be wrong. No woman leaves his house happily these steps are taken in helplessness.  If your brother will marry second time, it will increase the problems. You should pay attention to his psychology and mantel health. 
 
It scary in the house:
After the incident of father the mother is deeply grieved, after the illness of some months her condition has gone worse, we get to know that she is suffering from the depression. We accepted that whatever is happened it is the result of the calamity, but now she use to talk alone in her room and sometimes she says that a pious man came and consoled me then sometimes she says that one of the relatives met her and he is happy to leave this world. I feel scared in the house. (Sh, Lahore)
Suggestion: Betterment does not come by only accepting the depression or any other mental illness. We need to be concerned about its treatment. Despite depression came after the tragedy it can be finished and the depress person can also live like other normal people. Is not your mother left alone in her illness? When depression becomes severe then the patient in loneliness and in the presence of other people feels himself with the people who are actually not present there. Especially the meeting with the dead people is indicating that the mind of your mother is going towards worse condition. Do not be afraid of souls, whoever said that he does not know the reality. 
 
Trampling heart: 
I am 30. I was engaged to my cousin when I was 20 that engagement ended after 6 months. People kept on coming to see me; I went in front of them with wavering heart, now their quantity is reduced. But my heart’s wavering is increased. I feel that I have got any heart disease, one day my father took me to hospital but my heart was fine. Everybody is satisfied with my health but I am not. ( G, Abbotabad)
Suggestion: peaceful sleep is very important for human mind and body. One feels tired without doing anything if the there is the deficiency of sleep,. He feels a kind of strain. Try some positivity to have a good sleep. Go for long walk and exercise is also good.  Eat favorite food but many hours before sleeping, you can also study good books before sleeping. Remember that those gets good sleep who have spent their day well. As for as the matter of wavering of hear, it is due to the fear there may be a thought in the subconscious that the people will reject who will bring the proposal for you. There is no loss if you are still unmarried, suppose you were married and those people was not good then this was also a worrisome thing. Good people like the good girls. Keep yourself busy in education until you get married. 
 
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